Gatsby,

Thank you for sharing a part of yourself. This is a great question

First I have to ask How do you define grateful?

At Thank God I gratitude is about loving "what is" as it is. This is a place of non-judgement. It's about seeing both sides of an event equally rather than only labeling the experience as "good" or "bad" based on how it makes us feel. When you see the big picture you move past the illusions that things would be better some other way and honor the perfection that already exists. Every experience in your life makes you the perfect person you already are. When you see this perfection and how these experiences that don't feel so good also serve then you open up to love yourself more which in turn creates greater self worth. 

We often find it easy to become grateful for the things that feel good in our life but It's the perceived challenges that are often what allows us to grow the most. There is no doubt a condition like OCD can be a challenge but, is it possible that there is another side of this coin? True gratitude is about seeing this big picture, about finding the hidden blessings and gifts on an experience that we're labeling as just having one side. Have you ever had an experience that while challenging at the time, you can look back on and see how it served?

How do you become grateful for your experience? well it's about asking yourself a new set of questions and digging deep for the answers. How does having OCD serve in your life. Are there decisions you have made that you wouldn't have otherwise, people you have met, places you've been, jobs you've taken, places you've lived, have you learned more about yourself, increased your knowledge etc??? What are the benefits of depression, anxiety and low self esteem? What are the opposite emotions to each and what are the disadvantages of them? True gratitude is about moving past judgement and loving "what is" as it "is" rather than thinking things would be better some other way. It may not be easy to see at the moment since you are caught in emotional patterns based on only seeing OCD as a bad thing. When yo do what is referred to as "emotional calibration" (taught in the Perfect Solution course) then you're able to balance your emotions as fast as you are ready and make decisions from a place of love and inspiration. 

How would you define yourself as a person today? what are the dreams that are unfulfilled? are these fantasies that also have equal and opposite fantasies? have you ever fallen in love only to decide later that the person was an @ssh@le? Weren't they always that way? you just didn't see that side since you were caught in a fantasy of the person you wanted them to be? 

I've gone a little long for now but would be inspired to discuss further

Thank you again for sharing.

d